Avens Dolor

Disclaimer: I don't mind if I get disqualified for thinking of the prompt philosophically rather than literally, but I got "writer in a glass elevator creating more questions than answers," ...

Hi there! I like how you keep the running thread of paper throughout this piece. It's a really cool effect, and it plays well, especially, I think the lines "In ...

Hey Gracie! First, a couple of things that I do like about this piece: Your first line is short and sweet, and I think that although it doesn't give a ...

I would suggest that you change the name of her race, or the spelling. I like the name Liana, but, like Rosey, I pronounce Ciana the same way.

If it's something like fanfiction, then you don't really need to worry about anything. If you're intending to publish or use it in a portfolio or non-fanfiction affiliated contest for ...

Like Gahks said, death scenes need to be very carefully constructed. If it's a "cheap death" which is not necessary to driving the plot forward, then readers will feel disgusted ...

Hey Anijumper! Let's see if I can help at all... 1) Less is always more. Even if a reader doesn't see the story exactly the way you did, they will ...

Hi Jade! Welcome to the forums and YWS. Yay for the environmentalist in you! Avens

It's been a while since I've officially been around, so I thought I'd reintroduce myself. My name is Anna but I go by Avens. I'm a college student who thinks ...

Chapter One The red carpet was soft beneath her bare feet as Adelaide traversed the hall. Although she had trekked down this corridor thousands of times in her life, this ...

Cold. The Raven curled up tight and wrapped her arms around herself, her eyes still shut. She tried to scrub her upper arms with her hands without waking but it ...

Four ‘I beg your pardon?’ The man sighed and began again. ‘What is your n-n-n-name?’ The Raven grinned. His stutter was hilarious. Kind of awkward. Stutters aren't really that funny ...

Three They ..."set out again, and that night they slept..." or something. It sounds like they just switched inns in the same town. slept that night at another inn. This ...

Two They left Londlow early the next day. It was warm with a tiny wind that whipped up strands of the carthorse’s mane and blew dust into their eyes, making ...

One The wind whimpered down Londlow’s narrow cobbled streets. It caught at the thatched or tiled roofs of the houses, rippled the surface of a new puddle in the gutter ...